Updated: Apr 6
I know, some people are good in expressing themselves in writing, some other don't. While some people are good at public speaking, some others can be very shy or intimidated in front of an audience, maybe you are one of these people, should you still try writing your own vows or should you just play it safe?
WHY YOU SHOULD DO IT?
First and foremost, I got to repeat my moto here, it is your wedding day and you should choose whatever resemble most to you. This day is about you and your Bride/Groom, and you should not be doing things for your videographer or photographer, or your mom or whomever. This is from you, to you and your partner! Always keep that in mind. That been said, let's talk about you writing your wedding vows.
Most of the times the vows are responsible for the structure of the wedding film, it guides your editor on the decisions he will have to make to put your film together. What kind of music? Mood of the film? What genre would best describe this film? Most of those answers can be found just by looking at your vows. Not just that, it is the most waited moment of the day, it is a movie where you are the protagonist, and everybody wants to hear what you have to say and what you are feeling at that moment.
In the everyday life, more often than not, we don't stop and take some time to express ourselves, so the vows are the perfect occasion for it. How much would you love to hear what your loved one have to say too? Plus, it all will be recorded and only grow more meaningful by the time.
To start, may be the hardest part. There is so much to be said but you still can't put that on paper? Yeah, I feel ya. But the hint here is: forget the protocol and pretend you writing something cute to send in a text message for your partner, like after a date when you get home and miss her/him already. Just try to leave any pressure out of it and be honest. Too short or too long, doesn't matter. That will get you started and later on you can work on your script.
"Ok, BUT WHAT SHOULD I WRITE?"
Here are some tips to help you out on that, try to answer these questions:
- What was the first thing about your partner that caught your attention when you met each other?
- How do you picture your marriage in the near future?
- What have you learned with her/him?
Try to use the same language you use everyday, slangs, jokes, nicknames, fun and special memories, inside jokes. Remember, you are not trying to impress anyone here, this is you expressing yourself.
"GOT IT, BUT HOW SHOULD I SAY IT"
Take your time while you read it and make sure to make pauses to LOOK INTO HER/HIS EYES. If possible hold hands too. If you feel like you are gonna have some happy tears, have it, let it flow and even try to enjoy it, you can take as long as you need to recompose yourself before continuing. If you feel it is too much and you are not gonna make it, jump ahead to the end maybe finalize with a hug or try something short like: "I just wanna say that I love you and I'm so happy to have you in my life forever". Your happy tears have already said it all for you. Remember there is no right or wrong here.
Even if you are feeling confident and don't wanna read from a paper at all, make sure to write down a few topics to have with you and take a look at it before the ceremony, that will help you to not leave anything unsaid.